The esky’s packed with ice and toots,

we’ve phoned for fish ‘n chips,

dressed down in thongs and ugg boots,

for the nuptials of His Nibs

—-

Our PM, a Republican daggy,

an atheist, and unmarried to boot,

will schmooze at Westminster Abbey

with First Bloke, toasting our roots

—

‘The Chaser’s been given the flick,

Beeb and not-amused Charlie to blame,

Instead, Antipodean kicks

will come from that dodgy old Dame

—-

Yes, for today, we’ll forgo real news,

indulge in some frivolous folly,

chuck a sickie from workaday blues

and quaff a few bottles of Bolly

—